As Independence Day approaches...what do you need to purge so that you can live a life of true happiness and fulfillment? I realized for me it is old feelings of a love lost that bind me to the past and not allow me to live for today... thus my open letter to a beautiful love that has run it's course...
Hello my love-
I must admit that I haven't been the same since December 2005 when I last saw you..touched you...gazed into your eyes. I knew at that moment things would never be the same. Since that time, I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy & questioned everything about myself; was I intelligent enough, caring enough, loving enough, small enough, kind enough, submissive enough, supportive enough? Since we parted I have not been open to love...mentally or emotionally. I have had some wonderful, intelligent, God-fearing, kind men try to break down my walls but they couldn't...and this saddens me.
While I have had some of my greatest accomplishments professionally since we parted, I have discovered a hole so deep in my heart that it literally aches at times. I try to cover it up or fill it with work & my friendships but those things don't heal it - they only conceal the hurt. This is why I am writing you this letter- I want to be healed, I want to love, I want to purge the feelings of inadequacy and stop being haunted by them. I have experienced such a spiritual maturation over the past 5 years and 3 in particular that is so strong & so deep; it has allowed me to move forward and purge you from my system- this letter is the final phase of that process. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not purging "you" nor what we had because it is part of what makes me who I am today but more-so leaving the past where it belongs so I can move forward.
I often say I loved the right person and in the right manner but at the wrong time. And timing is everything! Thank you for all of the wonderful memories & experiences we shared- I am eternally grateful for them.
While I have a full and wonderful life with great friends across the country...I do not want to grow old alone, no children, no husband and no-one to care for me. I had to say these things to free myself mentally and emotionally so I can love again, feel whole again and move forward. I wish you the best of luck and great success in all you do and truly hope we can maintain a friendship. I will always cherish our time together...I am now ready to free myself of the emotional baggage that ties me to a past that has no future and open myself to the endless possibilities life has to offer..this is... my Independence Day!
Fondly,
Me....
